The Invitation: How My Friend Became My First Intimate Model
See exclusive photos from my first shoots with Courtney in the February feature dropping on Monday.
When people learn I’m an intimate photographer, the most common question I get is: “How did you get started doing that?”
But I know the real question they’re asking is “How does a person like you approach a female friend and ask her to take her clothes off while you take pictures of her?”
It’s a fair question. Let’s be honest: to a lot of people, the idea of a beautiful friend undressing in her own bedroom while you stand there with a camera sounds like an impossible fantasy. Asking for it is also a great way to get slapped, not to mention end a friendship. But when I wanted to do my first test shoot, I didn’t see a better option than to just ask. I knew I couldn’t be easily embarrassed or ashamed if I were to take on a style like boudoir, so I just had to find a way to make the request about the art, not my gratification.
I knew my good friend Courtney to be both beautiful and body positive. Most importantly, Courtney and I already had an easy, platonic rapport, which I thought would help avoid misunderstandings or miscommunications during the shoot about what we were doing and why. (These days, I know how to keep the atmosphere light and professional, but I wasn’t sure what to expect at this point.)
I chose a night that we were both out with a group of friends and told her I wanted to ask her about something. I explained what my goals were and that I needed practice, and she nodded along. Finally, I got to the ask itself. I avoided any comments about her body or wanting to see her naked; I simply asked if being my test model would interest her.
The words were barely out of my mouth, and I saw her face light up, as though she’d been waiting for someone to ask her. She expressed her excitement at the chance to make art and to help me in the process. The anxiety of the situation melted away. We exchanged messages about inspirations and wardrobe, and before I knew it, we were shooting our first boudoir session together.
As with many things about intimate photography, approaching a potential model seems weird and scary until you realize it doesn’t have to be. You just have to ask the right person directly and respectfully and be prepared to accept whatever answer they might give.
When I posted the first photos from our shoot online, our mutual friend reached out to me and asked, “Can you make my ass look that good?” That’s when I realized I had a knack for boudoir.
The story of my shoot with Courtney is continued in the feature available on Monday, Feb 2.
